The Kindness Effect

You already know this, but you’ve probably forgotten.

If you’re my age, in first grade you were handed a wooden ruler stamped with The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Bulletin boards brandished the slogan. Teachers recited it to unruly children who had to be separated at recess.

These days the slogan is BE KIND. T-shirts announce it. Books for children encourage it.

Whatever you call it, it can be hard to find an actual example of it in your own life these days.

For instance, an unfortunate thing happened to our neighbor Beth. It was a thoughtless disservice directed toward her. There was no undoing it, so I decided to lessen its sting.

We live near a field planted with flowers free for the picking. I know. Unbelievable, isn’t it?

So Maggie and I got scissors, loaded up the dog, and drove to this glorious place in the middle of nowhere. We clipped and twirled our bouquet, deciding what to add. Something tall. Something hot pink. We had simple, free-wheeling fun.

At one point Maggie wandered off with Maria. In search of something purple, I figured.

“What about a vase?” she asked when we got home.

Somewhere in this house we have a box of them. Because of renovations, we aren’t quite settled in. Spaces keep changing. Closet contents shift.

“Not to worry,” I assured her, knowing we could ditzy-up a glass jar. Nice doesn’t need to be fancy. Beth was gone for the afternoon, so we placed her surprise by the side door where she’d see it upon arrival.

Completely astonished, Beth told me how perfectly the colors matched her dining room–right down to the dishes. Every morning when she entered the room, she felt happy all over again. It’s not that we could change the unfortunate event done to her, but we could do something better for her.

I thought that was the end of the good deed and that the story ended here.

Not at all.

When Cliff delivered my birthday cake, I discovered Maggie had picked matching flowers for me. Every year I alternate between pink or yellow icing roses, but this year they ordered both colors. That day in the flower field, she knew what she was searching for.

The story didn’t end here either.

Not at all.

On my birthday morning, Cliff called me to the window to see my surprise from Beth. She’d ditzyed-up a yard sign with paper, tape, and markers. Nice doesn’t need to be fancy.

That’s the thing about kindness. Or The Golden Rule. It doesn’t matter what you call it. No matter how small the action, the effect is enormous.

Just ditzy something up for someone. You’ll see.